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Selecting Lottery Numbers by...

THE NOSE AT TEN


This is a very silly method of choosing lottery numbers. First you get an overhead projector transparency with a small 7x7 grid in the middle. You affix this to the television screen at 9:59 at night just before the news comes on. Then using a second hand clock, (well you can use a new clock if you like, just so long as it has got a second hand), you make a note of the exact position of the newsreader's nose on the grid at exact one-minute intervals. This gives the numbers of the balls in the lottery

This form of divination of lucky lottery numbers gives the relevancy of the news a whole new perspective, though there is the disadvantage that if someone comes into the room unaware that this is what is going on, it may take some explaining.

Variants: Use a felt-tip pen to draw the grid directly on the screen. The disadvantage of this is that it requires window cleaning stuff and a cloth to clean it off afterwards. But the advantage of this is that it also removes the amazing amount of muck which is found to accumulate on the surface of the television screen. Note: muck accumulates on TV screens regardless of how you choose your lottery numbers.

Caution: Although this works perfectly well on a CRT glass screen, you've got to be more careful with modern flat-screen TV screens. Best to make sure the felt tip pen is compatible with use on a whiteboard.

 

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